As you all probably know by now, The Sun’s famous Page 3 is quite rightly no more. Rupert Murdoch has finally realised that tits probably don’t belong in a newspaper. Or at least not the nipples.
Luckily for your pervy granddad, he can still see Lucy from Warwick and Joey from Cardiff on this new thing called the internet. And that’s exactly what the typical pub sexists have done; migrated to the site and set up home in the comments section.
This gives us the beautiful opportunity to look into the knuckle-dragging mind of the average Sun reader.
Want to see old men objectifying women without a trace of perspective? Of course you do! Tut judgingly and eye roll yourself out of existence to these charmers:
“One point for each massive fat sack – 2/10. Zilch for everything else.” – Jay Brown
“I can’t believe how much weight she’s put on.” – Tony G
“Wow Wow Wow I Love Lucy Collett I Do and I Love her Breasts I Only wish That I Could Feel Them and Its Just a Shame Lucy not Naked as I Would Love to see Lucy in The Nude Because I Think Lucy Would Look Very Hot and Sexy in The Nude and I Think Lucy is a Very Sexy Lady and I Think Lucy is Beautiful Gorgeous and Sexy Not The Best Set of Photos and I Don,t Like Her Shoes Shes Wearing and I Love Pictures 4 and 5 and I Love Her Legs and I Hope You Have a Pleasant and Peaceful new Year Take Care My Love xxxxxx.” – PAUL MCGOLDRICK
“Those feedbags just keep getting bigger and bigger – and I like it!” – Fred Scwhartz
“Page 3 girls must have B** B***s, end of story.” – podcast
“Swat my hind with a melon rind! What a nice set of photos!” – Stratosaurus
“thank u baby dolls n Alison, great shots here,god only knows how the 2 nd shot of Lissy never made it thro , por favor, mama mia, be still my beating heart” – andrew bolger
“Even her bra can’t contain those massive milk machines. Very nice erect nipples and big aereloae. I’d love to kiss her tummy.” – Fred Schwartz (again)
“Rhian, gorgeous as ever, pictures 2,3 & 4 a bit samey, let’s try and mix the poses up a bit.” – Paul Medford
And finally: this bastard.
“Had to turn my ipad sideways to see all of her.” – GC Falkirk
I’m not sure whether they thought they were being suave and charming, but at least these terrible comments made for an entertainingly vacuous article.
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